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Friday, March 31, 2006

Backlash Against Mexicans Begins
Like I said, we can expect a lot more like this. It's truly gonna get a lot worse...
NYC mini-scandal: NY Observer movie "critic" plagiarizes Film Forum
With many lovely examples of the pathetic lameness. Typical MSM - don't expect him to resign or be fired, much less apologize.
O.J. Wannabes! Scott Peterson's Family Seeks 'Real Killer'
Now why would they do that, seeing as he is so jazzed to be on Death Row?
Scientists Debate Dinosaur Demise
Latest thought: the asteroid that was supposed to have wiped them out hit 300,000 years too early.

Someday, scientists will finally uncover the awful truth: the dinosaurs destroyed themselves in a nuclear war, except for those who escaped in flying saucers.
10 great hoaxes fooled most of the people
Interesting that they include the Howard Hughes Autobiography hoax, but ignore the far grander "Hitler's Diaries" one.
Man Tasered After Driving Stolen Car To Court
He "borrowed the car from someone at a crack house" for two dime rocks and $50.
Mexican Flag Burned Following Week of Protests
It was only a matter of time - expect a lot more of this in the days and weeks to come.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The Future Is Fallujah
Read it now or forever be misguided in contemporary military operations in urban terrain.
"The often petrified defender could only remember the footsteps of the approaching American troops inside a building, the gunfire and grenade blasts as rooms were cleared, and the shouted commands that accompanied it."

Tactical thermobarics (luv them!) also helped a lot!
Yet another reason to avoid masturbating while robbing a home
You might get charged with "burglary with intent to litter".
Pity the poor mass-murderer
Mom sez he's like a zombie and has no prison friends...
War Warning: Five U.N. Members Agree on Iran Statement
If you don't stop...we're gonna tell you to stop again!
Crazy Cat Terrorizes Connecticut Town
Hat tip to Tom, who happens to be resident of the town in question!
More here.

Umm - they tried to give it Prozac!?!??!?!?!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Tom Cruise in birth control
Katie Holmes will be reminded to keep her vow of silence during birth — by signs plastered around their home.
It's Apple vs. Apple in British Court
This is a war 15 years in the making
$4,300 for four burgers
Never give your debit card to a minimum wage employee.
Yet another Fall of France in the making
Ready for the 6th Republic?
Aussie slogan baffles Japan
'So, where the bloody hell are you?' just doesn't translate...
Sick to death of fake psychics
Members of the psychic community are concerned about unqualified readers posing as psychics.
More quantum madness: Particle that switches between matter and anti-matter.

Anyone get the feeling that physicists don't have a f'n clue how the universe really works?
Sumerian Update: Italians find ancient Ur tablets
New library may have been uncovered.
Cannibal Warlord Update:
Charles Taylor, the infamous cannibal warlord and ex-leader of Liberia escapes / is released from house arrest by Nigeria -- just after they reluctantly agreed to give him up to a war crimes tribunal.

For those who bothered to read the second link, yes - Gen. Butt Naked is a real person - here's an old AP article about him - with photo.
Pirate Update
It's been pretty quiet this week - only 2 incidents, nobody hurt.
Dutchman builds modern Noah's Ark
Not quite so crazy when you recall that over 25% of Holland lies below sea level. What is crazy is that he found a bank to fund it!
'Miracle fish of Allah' discovered
Quick! Put it on ebay!
More human remains found in building near WTC site
4 1/2 years later and they are still finding bits and pieces? WTF is going on?!?
US debt clock running out of time, space
At $20,000 per second, we'll cross the $10 trillion mark in 2 years. Your family's share (as of last week): approximately $90,000.
Have a nice day.
Saudis shaken and stirred
Watch out - this is your early warning:
"The Saudi stock market crash of Feb 27th may have serious effects on the loyalty of the country's security forces. Apparently a lot of officers in the Armed Forces, National Guard, and police had invested heavily in the overheated market and say their money disappear." (sic)
U.S. Makes Seized Iraqi Documents Public
Instapundit's so-called "Army of Davids"of the blogosphere is unleashed on Saddam's docs. And as is typical of the contrast between the blogosphere and the mainstream media, the AP only picks up on the story several weeks after the fact.
W getting sneaky, holding off-the-record meetings with reporters
Apparently a first for him. Watch out for his classic rope-a-dope!

Monday, March 27, 2006

And the answer is 42: Prime Numbers and quantum physics
Will the subatomic world help reveal the elusive nature of the primes?
Nigeria tries to calm populace: 'World isn't ending' on Wednesday
"A partial eclipse in 1989 led to massive demonstrations and violence in the country's predominantly Muslim north, where churches and hotels were set ablaze by fanatics to 'atone for the sins of infidels." Adds Virgin Mary Firewood to Collection of Items
They're the same folks who paid $28,000 for the Virgin Mary on Toast. They also paid William Shatner $25,000 for one of his kidney stones. Just goes to show that gambling does pay -- if you're the casino! Be sure to check out their glorious catalog of weird e-bay purchases.
Classic Craigslist post
See it now before it gets yanked!
John Kerry Hates Celery
The Smoking Gun gets his hotel rider and shares it with us all. For a bi-partisan comparison, here's Dick Cheney's.
Drilling into a hot volcano
Something tells me this is not a good idea...
Seattle shooter: "Plenty for Everyone"
A teddy bear quick to anger...
Canadian seal hunt update: "The hunters hurled seal intestines and curses at the protesters, while activists claimed they were rammed by the sealing boats."
The husband who woke up divorced
Don't triple talaq in your sleep!
'Marriage Is for White People'
but "triple talaqing" is for Muslims only
Star Trek: The Lost Generation
Trekkies going through withdrawl now that no new episodes are out there.
Cops ruin March Madness in New York - $300k in bets confiscated.
(use for a login)
Bizarre plot to bomb Sydney
'She's converted to Islam and apparently has his prison number tattooed on her thigh. It's a pretty sad case, she's a bit of a candle in the wind.'
If you loved HBO's Rome, you may find this interesting. Apparently Titus Pollo and Lucius Varenus were real Roman centurions, not just some characters whipped up out of nowhere. I just discovered that Caesar himself mentioned them here, in his Commentaries on the Gallic War.
My lost blog has been recovered. In so doing, I have to redo all the stuff I entered over the weekend, so following this you will see 21 posts that were originally posted over the weekend.

Sorry for the mess.

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Friday, March 24, 2006

Five Years For Attending Super Bowl
"Even knowing what I know now, I would do it again"

Thursday, March 23, 2006

By Popular Demand: America Sucks!
Gutfeld sticks it to the HuffPosters once again!
The Super Adventure Club kills Chef - You Bastards!!!!!
Don't worry - he gets reborn as Chef Vader
Mayor hired male strippers for Women's Day
It's all about the definition of "professional artists"
Cosmetics firm using remains of executed Chinese
No Blood for Collagen, anyone?
“A lot of the research is still carried out in the traditional manner using skin from the executed prisoners and aborted fetus"
Political correctness in Minnesota
"First they came for the Easter Bunny, and I didn't speak up, because I was not a bunny..."
Hat tip to Kara!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Duh! Man arrested after asking cops to test his new crack pipe
He thought he got a bad crack deal and wanted official confirmation.
Insomnia caused the dinosaurs' demise
Damnit! all this time i thought it was nuclear war!
How To Blow Up A Boat
For your inner-submariner-child
Politically Incorrect in London
Red Ken does it again!
Heroin ship to sink with its secrets
Kim Jong Il loses a 3,500 ton rust bucket

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

DNA clears man of rape conviction after 18 years in prison
Eligible for up to $250,000 from the state for his wrongful incarceration, he's gonna do HVAC work now that he's free.
Shock Collars On Kids
That's one way to keep them under control...
Canadian tax looneys at work:
"My research is not a Dave Letterman joke."
Women spend two years of their lives getting ready to leave the house
"We did a study a couple of years ago that told us women spend 55 minutes per day just looking for stuff"
Pirate Update:
Only 2 attacks last week

Monday, March 20, 2006

Chef returns???
Don't mess with them Southpark boys...
Chef didn't quit!!!
Evil scientologists rigged his alledged exit: "But it’s hard to know anything since Hayes, like Katie Holmes, is constantly monitored by a Scientologist representative most of the time."
Another reason to avoid Texas.
Arrested for being drunk in a bar!!
India’s call-centre staff tune in to decadence
Another evil consequence of globalization...

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Another reason not to drive a tank over thawing ice.

Update: for those who are curious - this is what they were trying to drive over a thawing bog...
Peace movement can't even draw it's own symbol

Saturday, March 18, 2006

Pakistani kite terrorists kill biker
Attention all Pakistanis - you need to install one of these thingys in the front of your vehicles.
Scientists make 'bionic' muscles
Powered by alcohol and hydrogen
The Chinese communist morality list:
-Love, do not harm the motherland.
-Serve, don't disserve the people.
-Uphold science; don't be ignorant & unenlightened.
-Work hard; don't be lazy and hate work.
-Be united and help each other; don't gain benefits at the expense of others.
-Be honest and trustworthy, not profit-mongering at the expense of your values.
-Be disciplined and law-abiding instead of chaotic and lawless.
-Know plain living and hard struggle, do not wallow in luxuries and pleasures.
Pelican Update - Wiretap Witness Admits Scheme
"He bragged about how he did this [wiretapping] for other clients," Abramson said. "He said that is why people pay him so much."
Slobo goes out in style
"Ramsey Clark, a former U.S. attorney general and longtime Milosevic supporter who is now on Saddam Hussein's defense team, was also in the crowd."

Friday, March 17, 2006

Freezer failure ends couple's hopes of life after death
If you are going to freeze yourself after death, for God's sake have a backup refrigeration system!
South Park creators go to war with scientology
The million-year war for earth has just begun!
Big Sister Ping, 'Mother of snakeheads', goes down for 35 years.
"one of the biggest... and most successful alien smugglers of all time".

Man Wearing Milk Crate Robs Store
with security camera photo and video!
Man severs own penis, throws it at officers:
"Fik, 33, cut off his own penis during a Northwest Side rampage Wednesday morning. When confronted by police, Fik hurled several knives and his severed organ at the officers, police said."
Baby Born In Elevator To Mom Born In Car
Today is definitelya weird-birth news day

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Hermit Kingdom Update:

Day of Sun to Be Commemorated in Mongolia

Pyongyang, March 16 (KCNA) -- The preparatory committee of the Mongolia-Korea Friendship Society for commemorating the Day of the Sun was formed with due ceremony at the Mongolian Palace of Culture on Mar. 10. The executive chairman of the Friendship Society said at the ceremony that the exploits performed by President Kim Il Sung for the world revolution would be immortal, adding that its members would significantly commemorate the Day of the Sun through such positive activities as introducing his greatness among the Mongolian people.
New escalation in the drug war coming to Mexico in a matter of weeks...
Mexico will begin extraditing drug lords wanted in the United States within weeks and expects a violent backlash from the powerful cartels, President Vicente Fox said on Wednesday.
'Operation Swarmer' Underway
Iraqis and the 101st launch air assault northeast of Samarra.
A marital spat got out of control and saw them firing guns, throwing knives and hurling homemade bombs...
"Contreras said she was only sorry she had not "hacked off his manhood" during the fight."
Knife vs. Squeegee
The results may surprise you.
Ambien Linked to 'Sleep Eating'!
"What happens is the patients get out of bed, walk to the kitchen, prepare food -- often sloppily, and often with strange, high-calorie ingredients. They have microwave food sometimes. They eat in a very sloppy way, either in the kitchen or after taking the food back to bed. And they have no memory of it. They wake to find a mess in the kitchen or crumbs in the bed."

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

"Wild House Party"
Mom charged with rape of 17-yr old boy.
15-pound burger
This is really getting out of control
Prostitutes Hunting Serial Killer
"Yeah, we are going to get him first. When we find him, he is going to be sorry. It is as simple as that."
Pirate Update!
7 attacks last week, including a ramming at sea.
Man Carjacks Minutes After Jail Release
He behaved exactly as you do in Grand Theft Auto!
Includes a nice mug shot with his neck tatoos.
Cannibal Vampire Update!
"Obsessed with vampires, he brutally murdered his friend before eating part of his skull and drinking his blood."
Enigma project cracks second code
This is going much more quickly than expected

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Woohoo! Of course, the research does come from Czechs...
Scientology kills Chef on Southpark!
Isaac Hayes bails due to "a growing insensitivity toward personal spiritual beliefs"

Umm Earth to Isaac, Hello??? Insensitivity??? You were a character on SOUTHPARK you shmuck!

Monday, March 13, 2006

Too crazy to be executed?
"In April 2005, just before the accused's lawyer entered a visiting room, the accused exposed his penis and began masturbating, continuing until he had finished while the lawyer stood before him the entire time. He has repeated this act of masturbation in the visiting room, as well as in his solitary confinement cell since being placed under observation in May. He also performed the act in front of his daughters when they came to visit him in August of the same year"

Sunday, March 12, 2006

Poisoning or Suicide?
Wily old Milosevic continues his havoc from beyond the grave.
How to Spot Pirates
"No birds, no fish, and that means pirates"

Saturday, March 11, 2006

USENET gets targeted by the MPAA
This should be a fun fight to watch...
A social worker finally snaps
Awesome Craigslist rant!

Friday, March 10, 2006

Workers Barred From Neverland
The Smoking Gun shares the Stop Order from the State Division of Labor.
Jacko Back in California as Neverland Closes
The house of cards crumbles...
Record Set for Hottest Temperature on Earth: 3.6 Billion Degrees in Lab

And the scientists don't know how they did it. I hope they figure that out before they set us all on fire.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

EBay pulls Columbine killer's car:
"What kind of a moron tries to benifit (sic) off this scumbags (sic) personna? (sic)" was one posting, written in all capital letters. "I hope you die in hell."

"The car was bought without knowing who previously owned it," isubars replied to that posting. "Once I found out it was Klebold's I put it up here."

And people wonder if the West is doomed?

Trapped in cubicles
Hat tip to Kara!
Rumors flying about NASA announcement - life discovered in the solar system?

Who knows? But rumor mongering like this is fun!

UPDATE: LAME! No aliens - just a volcano spewing water on one of Saturn's moons.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Gitmo ain't so bad:
"Inmates at Guantanamo Bay prison are treated better than in Belgian jails"
Iraq snapshot
Jim Dunnigan gives the scoop
Mall rage in West Virginia:
"I heard them chanting ‘take the gun and kill him,’” he recalled.
Top 10 Accidental Discoveries
Viagra and acid top the list!
Pirate Update!
11 attacks last week!
Motion Denied Because You're An Idiot
Be sure to read the footnote on page 2

Monday, March 06, 2006

Winner of the Ultimate Bad Taste in Political Activism Award:
The Rachel Corrie Pancake Breakfast!

Yes folks, it's true! For those who forget - Rachel was squished flat while protesting in front of an Israeli bulldozer, which was in the process of destroying a weapons-smuggling tunnel a few years ago. Now her friends are having a pancake(!) breakfast in her honor!

Sunday, March 05, 2006

Indian cult kills children for goddess: "28 human sacrifices in western Uttar Pradesh in the last four months"
Massive Food Fight costs kids $1000
Chicken-fried steak, mashed potatoes and milk
Online amateurs crack Nazi codes
Distributed processing breaks unsolved Enigma codes.

Saturday, March 04, 2006

Yelling at Cats
'nuff said...

Friday, March 03, 2006

Lucky Kitty!
With photo
Cannibal film banned in Germany!
His rights as an individual outweigh artistic freedom...

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Idiot of the week
Just goes to show you that having a Ph.D. doesn't mean you ain't a fool.
Commies tried to kill the Pope!
Knew it all along...

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Born Bad in France
They spot you when you are 6...